hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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