We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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