i just google imaged poop.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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