I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
