When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
