why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm bleeding and have questions
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
