i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize