my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
