I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
