i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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