Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
