Betty ford says i'm here all night
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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