I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
