spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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