He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
