What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
