Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
worst night to have a conscience
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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