i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
