Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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