I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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