you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
