and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize