I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
