It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
