I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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