We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
