no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize