Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
