So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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