So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize