3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
