if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
