I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
