I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am available for nakedness
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
