Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize