I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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