I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
