that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
