yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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