Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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