i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
