oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
