carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
