I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize