love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My breasts were aching with rage.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
