She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize