I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
