NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
