CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
