All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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