Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
