Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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