hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
