how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize