you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
