so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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