it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
