3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize