Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
