There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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