Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
