my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
